The Power of Thank You

Last week I was asked to speak at the President's Inaugural Delegate Luncheon at Mississippi College as they installed their 20th President, Dr. Blake Thompson. Being an MC alum, of course I said YES to the invitation!

While lunch was being served, I told my friend Beth that I wanted to walk around the banquet room and speak to people I once knew in my years as a student there. One of the people I spotted at a table was Dr. Bettye Coward.

Most MC students had Dr. Coward for Child Psychology. It was one of the "core" classes that nearly everyone HAD to take no matter their major. I pulled a chair next to her and sat down. I introduced myself to Dr. Coward and told her I wasn't sure if she remembered me, but I took two classes from her in my years at MC: Child Psychology and Family Life. She put her fork down and smiled back at me.

"Of course I remember you, Barbie!" she said.

"Well, I just want to say thank you for being such a powerful voice in my life years ago," I told her. "You made those classes interesting and you were always so very, very kind. I've never forgotten that about you."

She smiled and we exchanged a few more pleasantries as to where she's living now and how wonderful retirement has been for her.

I left to go back to my seat to be ready for my part in the program. Afterwards, I was standing around talking with several college friends when Dr. Coward walked up to me. She grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye.

"I just wanted to say thank you for coming to speak to me," she said. "Those my age and at this stage in their life could use some acknowledgement in knowing we made a difference in someone else's life."

Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Another translation says, "Like golden apples in silver settings, so is a word spoken at the right time."

As I sat in my car driving away from campus, it made me think about her words. How many times have I been guilty of assuming someone knows how much they mean to me or the influence they've had on my life? The answer is too many times I'm afraid. What encouragement we could be to someone today if we just took one minute out of our schedule to send them a note, a call, or a spoken word of thanks for how they treated us in the past or a sweet memory we have of them. Telling those who have influenced you NOW brings a sense of fulfillment to their heart and may spur them on to continue blessing others in the same way they blessed you. The right words may refresh, but no words are as effective as thank you.

I may never see Dr. Coward again this side of heaven, but I could tell she still wanted to feel like she "mattered" to someone else, even in retirement.

Excuse me now as I have my marching orders for today!

Grace Wins

One of Gracie's teachers in youth group at church caught me in the hallway after the service.

"I just HAVE to share this with you," she said. "The girls were talking about different challenges they're going through at school and one girl mentioned someone who's being very ugly to her. She went on to share how hurtful it is and she's having a hard time being nice to her," she explained. With her eyes watering, she explained. "Gracie said, 'Look at her as a child of God, too, just like you. That changes everything,'" 

Momma brag alert: My heart smiled.

We almost always see what's wrong with other people and not what's wrong with us. And while it may be human nature to do so, the Bible said it's still sin (Matthew 6:14-15).

Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." Luke 6:36 says, "Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

God's grace is forgiving. Grace is also for giving. And we always have a choice to give it to others or hold back in judgment of them instead.

Be the person who makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and grace. Do you have enough Jesus in your heart to show grace and share grace with other?

(Barbie will be the guest speaker Friday, March 29, at Mississippi College's Delegate Luncheon for the instillation of MC's 20th President, Dr. Blake Thompson)

When You've Had Your Bell Rung

I was sitting on my bed reading when I heard a loud THUD. I looked thru the glass doors on the bedroom porch to see if the dog was playing in my rose bushes, but he wasn't there. Curiosity got the best of me. I got up to look out the windows when I saw it--a beautiful warbler (yellow bird) lying on the porch, beak up. My heart melted. The bird must've flown into our second story window only to fall flat on the concrete. I noticed it's eyes were closed half way and it's wings were slightly fluttering; almost pulsing. There was no way I was going to let it lie on the concrete by itself so I put my shoes on and went outside.

It looked so helpless lying there. I cupped it in my hands and began gently petting it's head and speaking softly to it, but the blessed bird was limp as could be. It's eyes still closed slightly. I couldn't feel it breathing at all. When all of a sudden, I stopped talking to it and noticed sounds coming from all around me. My ears were filled with chirping sounds of other birds as if they were in stereo, surround sound. I looked in the bay magnolia tree and in the crepe myrtle to see a few birds sitting on the branches chattering about. I looked down at the lifeless bird and said, "Not today, birdie."

I kept petting the top of it's head, then I'd pet it on either side of it's beak. A couple of small, down feathers fell out. (Must've been some kind of hard knock against the window!)

"Do you hear that?" I spoke. "That's your friends talking. They're waiting on you to come back." I began to feel the claws on it's feet move. I moved my hands from a lying position to holding the bird upright. No blood, nothing looked broken and all of it's flight feathers were still in tact. There's still hope. I slowly moved my right hand away that was holding it down to keep it from falling, and it lifted it's head. I don't know if the THUD "rang it's bell" or knocked it out, but the bird started to come to itself. While cupping it with my left hand and stroking it's head with my right hand, the bird chirping all around began to intensify as a few birds around us flew from one tree to another bush.  "They're waiting on you," I said petting it. "You've got to get up and fly again."

By this time, William and the kids noticed me through the windows holding the bird and came out to watch. Everyone got a chance to pet it's soft, feathered head as the bird became more aware of it's surroundings. (It was almost as if it was enjoying the attention by this point.) The claws moved on the palm of my hand and I could feel it's confidence coming back. After a few more strokes and pep talk, it was wide awake and flew to the nearby rose bush. Mission accomplished!

I began to think: How in the world could the bird NOT see the window? Not paying attention, not looking forward, careless maybe? When the blows of life hit, we begin to rationalize what just happened or even point fingers with "what were you thinking?!"

Matthew 6:26-27 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

In those moments, I noted several observations.

• The other birds knew this bird had fallen and seemed to stay close by.
• The fallen bird could've easily given up. But with a little bit of attention in the form of holding, petting and soft words, it came back.

Isn't that how our Heavenly Father approaches us? He provides everything we need according to Matthew 6:26-27, stays close by even if we don't feel Him, and speaks affirming words to us softly.

Rest in knowing God will provide when you've had your "bell rung". And may we all be as those birds sticking close by in the trees above our fallen birds to encourage them so they can get up to fly another day. Most people don't need reminded of how much they screwed up. They need to be reminded of how much we still care.

Thankful Thru The Chaos

A massive EF-4 tornado left death and destruction across portions of Alabama and Georgia last week. Hardest hit was Lee County, Alabama with 23 fatalities. One family lost 7 family members.

As a meteorologist studying weather patterns and forecast models, seeing the devastation from these storms cut like a knife every time. My family went through our own version of this in 2001 when our neighborhood was struck by an EF-4 tornado. It completely changed my perspective on covering severe weather, but it also made me more sensitive to the experiences faced in the aftermath.

In looking over the photos and path of the Lee County tornado, I came across video of Ernestine Reese. Just 20 minutes after her home was obliterated from the tornado, someone helped her FaceTime with relatives to let them know she was alive after being pulled from the debris. She suffered a broken hip, has since had surgery and recovering. But before leaving for the hospital, she told her relatives on the FaceTime, "I thank the Lord." She goes on to tell them, "Tell God 'thank ya'. Tell God 'thank ya'!" Ernestine said it with such enthusiasm, excitement, and gave a hardy belly laugh!

Ernestine Reese talks to her relatives via FaceTime while someone holds the iPhone for her.

When life is good, it's a breeze to tell God 'thank ya'. And while we may claim to praise Him even if we were to lose it all, we really don't know how much praising we'd do until we've lost everything we've gained. Lose your job and the security it gave, lose your home you've spent years saving for and making a home for your family, lose your reputation, or lose a loved one to a health crisis--Would you still praise God? Oh friend, it's so easy to say what you would do "if" that day came, but the only way to know what we would do is to have it happen. 

I've been there. I know.

Psalm 9:10 says, "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Those who trust in God's provision and in His sovereignty can praise Him through the chaos that comes. Even though Ernestine lost her home, her hard earned possessions and was injured, her faith was strong enough that she could declare a "thank ya" to God.

Sometimes God's blessings are not in what He gives; but in what He takes away. Holding on to something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.

Feeling Alone? Love Them Anyway!

I was chatting with a friend recently and she shared how alone she felt. People she knew for years and had solid relationships with seemed to turn on her. Here today, gone tomorrow. "I just don't understand what I've done? I thought our friendship was stronger than that," she said. "They believed what they heard from someone else and now, BOOM. They've disappeared." I asked if she had reached out to them to try and have a conversation with her 'friends' and perhaps talk through whatever issue that caused a separation. "I've tried and all I get is one word answers," she lamented. "It's like they want nothing to do with me because of what they were told."

My heart went out to her. I think we've ALL been there before.

Don't be surprised by individuals who are close to you for a season, and then disappear for a lifetime. It’s the ebb and flow of life. Few remain for a lifetime.  What may be surprising is when individuals chose to walk away because they heard “about you” from others. They walked away yet they never took the time to listen to you personally. How many times have we lost relationships with individuals because we heard the “version” rather than listened to them?

We have these discussions quite frequently with our kids to prepare them for adulthood. People will walk away without ever calling or visiting with you to listen to what is within your heart and why you made certain decisions. Yet no matter the amount of times this happens, don't become bitter toward them just because they chose to hear about you rather than listening to you or chose to believe the worst regarding your decisions. Learn to bless them, learn to respect them and learn to pray for the Lord to use them for His Glory. 

Ephesians 4:29-32 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Paul says here that those HEARING what we say about someone else should benefit from our conversation in a godly way.

Whoa...That hit me like a ton of bricks! While you may think a conversation about someone is occurring between you and another one privately, would a passerby eavesdropping, reading the text, listening on the phone conversation, be blessed by what you and another are saying about the other person or would they be shocked, appalled or disappointed? Would it taint their opinion of the other person?  Paul said to "Get rid of" it (verse 31). He said those people...you know, the ones you so badly want to gossip about, share what you've heard, or believe to be true...treat them with kindness and compassion and forgive them for whatever they've done to you or whatever you think they've done to you. For one day when you find yourself in the same position (and if you live long enough, it WILL happen), you will want kindness, compassion and forgiveness shown to you.

Don’t become so bitter that you can’t say, “Father forgive them”.

Pressure Produces Strength in Your Life!

Over the weekend I traveled with Gracie and Lilly Faith to Atlanta for CheerSport Nationals. This is a massive cheerleading competition with screaming girls and guys doing flips you didn't know the human body could do! 

Both girls are bases, or back spots, on their squads. This means it's their responsibility to make sure the flyer (the cheerleader in the air) doesn't fall and to make sure the flyer gets in the air. No. Matter. What. 

Before each of them were released to their coaches to warm up for their performance, I looked at them in their eyes and reminded them. "YOU are the strong one. Whatever happens, don't let your flyer fall. Get her up, hold on to her, and get her feet back on the ground. If she falls, YOU fall under her." While I have these short pep talks with them before every competition, it's important to reminder them. The pressure to perform is one thing. The pressure to make sure your flyer gets up and stays up is another.

By the second day of competition, everyone was tired but excited. Gracie's squad was performing well in the beginning of their routine, but something was slightly off with the first stunt. Her flyer went up and began to wobble slightly. I was videoing all of this and in my mind shouting at the same time, "Get it together! Hold! Hold! And, YES!" Her stunt group pulled it together to make sure the flyer stayed up and didn't fall. They finished their performance to our cheers and applause and landed in 5th place at the competition. Her team and coaches were thrilled!

While making the long drive back home, we had plenty of chat time in the car. I asked Gracie what she was thinking when she saw her flyer wasn't stable and was at risk of falling. "I just kept telling myself, not on my watch! Nope. Nope. Nope. She will NOT fall," Gracie said. "And then I pushed with everything I had," 

The pressure is on us every single day. And the more you live the Christ-centered life, the pressure will only intensify. It's hard pushing through the tough times when everything else around you says to give in. 

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Notice where God will be with you...wherever. Wherever could be in your workplace with an unpleasant co-worker, in the middle of a difficult discussion, when you're wondering how you're going to pay the bills, or when you're waiting on the results from the doctor.

Just like Gracie discovered how the pressure to make sure her flyer didn't fall made her more determined than ever, the pressures you and I go through can do the same once we believe and embrace that God will be with us wherever we go. 

The enemy measures your life by how many times you've fallen. The enemy measures your life by how much gossip is said about you. The enemy will say, "That's it. You're done this time." But God looks for how many times you get back up. God has the last word. If the enemy knew what God was producing in you while you're under pressure, the enemy would leave you alone!

                              Gracie's squad after they performed

Pursuing the Heart of God

Valentines Day was last week. While I can always depend on my husband giving me roses and an overly, sweet card, our kids typically come up with a handmade card or a store version. Their words are kind, from the heart, and make me smile. They usually involve phrases like, "You're the best mom ever" or "You are fun to be with" and even the obligatory "I love you". Those make any mother's heart smile, but I believe my favorite happened this year.

Right there at the end, it struck me: "..you always love your enemies". My children are watching how I react to unkind people. Matthew 4:44 says, "I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

I'd like to think I don't have any enemies, but I know I'm not everyone's "cup of tea" for whatever reason. That doesn't bother me as I don't care for tea either, but I'm friends with many who enjoy tea!

Praying blessings and mercy on those who may see themselves as your adversary is a choice. (I didn't say it was fun and it doesn't make sense in the natural) While you've probably been taught the importance of praying and loving those who make it difficult to love, there is supernatural, God-sized power when we do. When our faith in doing what's right combines with the Word of God, that's where the power comes from. If you do something just a do it, it becomes a religious ritual that has no power. Always move with the Holy Spirit and the heart of God.

So when you find yourself tempted to speak negatively about the person who gets on your ever-lasting nerve or to make a passive aggressive comment...or as our society likes to do now, post on social media hoping the person who offends you the most will read it...pursue God's heart. When you do, it will make loving that person so freeing!