Friday, June 17, 2011

Those Comments

Have you ever gotten one of THOSE emails--the kind that hurts your feelings and makes your smile drop? With the advent of social media, we are all more accessible through email, Facebook and Twitter. Someone is always offering "constructive" criticism (is there really such a thing?) or making a comment about you that cuts to the core. Immediately, you feel the need to defend yourself.

Some of the criticism lately involves my hair, my clothes, wearing a cross necklace and not to mention, a peanut butter stain on my pants given by one of my kids' good-bye kiss--thanks to the viewer who HAD to point it out to me, just in case I didn't know.

The next time someone offers you some friendly advice on how YOU need to change, here are several things to keep in mind:

1) Not every critic needs a reply, especially when they are sent anonymously. Don't let their comment derail you from the position God has placed you in and concentrate on that. Satan likes to throw stones and hide. Even more so, he enjoys using Christians to do his dirty work. 1 Peter 2:15 says, "For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men."

2) Respond in the spirit and not in the flesh. It is so much easier to hurl an insult back, isn't it? When people say hurtful things to you or about you, they are dealing with something much bigger in their own life. Hurting people hurt other people, so don't take it personally. 1 Peter 2:23 says, "When they hurled their insults at Jesus, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." God sees. God knows who is honoring Him, so leave room for His wrath.

3) Show mercy to the offender. How many times have I said something that didn't come out quite the way I wanted? Then again, maybe it did and I've found myself needing forgiveness. If it hasn't happened in your own life yet, one day you will need mercy from someone who you have hurt deeply. The only way to receive it when you need it is to practice showing mercy to those who have hurt us. Psalm 103:17 says, "But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him and his righteousness unto children's children."


The Miller's Blog said...

Thank you, Barbie. I needed this today. And peanut butter stains or not, you always look beautiful!!!!!

Pegasusdancing said...

Thank you, Barbie. That completely lifted this flagging spirit. Your words have brightened my day.

PatrIcia Carroll said...

Well said! Whoever it was that started "but words will never hurt me", was not in the realm of reality. If we would think before we speak a lot of what comes out wouldn't... I totally agree with the other post, you look nice and well put together every time I've seen you and I'm sure you take that elegance wherever you go!

Sara said...

Sometimes you learn more from the peanut butter stains than anything else. :)

Jennifer M. said...

Your hair is cute!

Family in Mississippi said...

I like your blogs. Hang in there. Some people can be pretty stupid.

Anonymous said...

Well Barbie you just can't please most of the people out there but loved your way to handle them. We lived in your town for a year and I watched you all the time and to me you always looked very nice well cared for and it made me feel good to know you are a christian woman who really practices what she preachs and as far as the peanut butter stain guess she doesn't know what she is missing getting that kind of love and maybe that's what set her off so we will all look over it and go forth we have so little time left that let's not sweat the small stuff.

Malinda said...

I've had some of those anonymous comments too. When "anonymous" criticizes my parenting skills or tells me my child is spoiled, it takes all that is in me not to respond and defend my actions. I needed this post today. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Late on reading your blog, but you're such an outstanding Christan Woman, which shows in all you do, whether its work, family, etc. There are always people out there who are so negative that yes it's hard not to be that way ourselves but best to ignore and distance outselves from them. Hope I'm making sense with this comment.

Anonymous said...

Barbie, very true words. I am sure they were easier written and only carried out with Christ's strength.
We all need Him every day for we have an enemy who wants us to throw us down in the flesh to stay.
Thankful that Jesus has overcome!
As far as the negative comments, I've had them, too.
I would love for my hair to be thick and beautiful like yours, but God gave me the hair I have so I'm grateful. The cross necklace?-- keep wearing it and walk. The peanut butter stain? Why that is a momma's badge of honor that speaks volumes of love from a little blessings' heart; just smile and tell them that you've been marked by love :)