Monday, May 9, 2011

Satan's Beatitudes

I ran across this the other day and thought I'd share it with my blog readers.

We all know Satan cannot create anything of his own, but he tries to copy God's works. The following is a list of Satan's beatitudes:

1) Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend a few hours a week with their fellow Christians--they are my best workers.
2) Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked--I can use them.
3) Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church--they are my missionaries.
4) Blessed are the trouble makers--they shall be called my children.
5) Blessed are the complainers--I'm all ears to them.
6) Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes--for they get nothing out of his sermons.
7) Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church--for he is part of the problem instead of the solution.
8) Blessed are those who gossip--for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
9) Blessed are those who are easily offended--for they will soon get angry and quit.
10) Blessed are those who did not give their offering to carry on God's work--for they are my helpers.
11) Blessed is he who professes to love God and have a relationship with God but hates those who have done him wrong--for he shall be with me forever!
12) Blessed are you who, when you read this, think it is about other people and not yourself--I've got you, too!

1 comment:

John said...

Those are great, but I do have to say that there have been times that I would have been found guilty.